Overcoming Mental Blocks

I've been practicing yoga for about 3 and a half years now. When I first started, I remember staring in awe as other students effortlessly performed some of the more complicated poses. They seemed to defy gravity and the laws of physics with such ease. I watched in amazement, while holding onto the belief that I would never be able to do that. As I have progressed in my practice, I have come to enjoy the challenge of learning a new pose, of being able to move my body in ways that I never thought possible. I have found that the key to mastering a tricky pose isn't about muscling my body into it, but rather letting go, finding lightness, and getting out of my head.  In yoga, as in life, the mental blocks are the most difficult to overcome. Very often, we are our own biggest obstacle. In order to grow, we must be willing to try new things and risk failing or looking silly. When we let go of our "I can't"s, we open ourselves to a world of possibility. 

Lady Magnet

Nothing in the world more quickly attracts a group of women like a new baby. Holding a baby is an open invitation for conversation. Logan is oblivious to his power as a lady magnet-an ability that he'll wish for in about 15 years!  Whether I'm at the grocery store, a restaurant, or church, women of all ages are eager to approach me, from little girls clutching their baby dolls to grandmothers with silver hair.

Elderly women are especially interested in seeing the baby. They offer time tested advice and sweet words of encouragement.  They share stories of their own babies now grown. I can see in their eyes that to them it doesn't seem like it was so long ago.  I imagine that there is something about being at the other end of life and wanting a glimpse of  the next generation with whom they leave the world. Babies represent unlimited possibility and hope for the future. As adults, we are defined by the choices that we have made, but babies offer a sense of renewal and a fresh start. They haven't made any life altering choices, shut any doors, burned any bridges. They know nothing of hatred, anger, or prejudice.  The future is in their tiny chubby hands and that is a powerful thing to witness. 

Parrot

Nothing makes you more aware of the words coming out of your mouth than a toddler who repeats everything he hears. I will admit to not having the cleanest mouth in my life BC (before children).  The restaurant industry is rough, to say the least. I've tried to clean it up as much as possible, but I've accidentally slipped the occasional expletive.

Listening to Carter speak is like holding up a mirror to myself. What phrases do I use so frequently that I am not even aware of them?  And how funny are some adult phrases when they come out of the mouth of a child?  Here are a few that I've heard Carter use:

Let's rock and roll!

Settle down. 

It's ok, Mama's here (used on both baby brother and the dogs!)

That's enough!

Good job!

Go for it!

One of my favorite things to do is to spy on Carter. Listening to him play make believe offers a glimpse into his mind.  I recognize phrases and snippets of his favorite shows, books, and songs. It's always fascinating to see what has stuck with him.  There are also things that surprise me. Where did he pick up some of these words? 

Sometimes I'll hear a phrase made unintelligible by his clumsy little toddler tongue. He'll repeat it frequently in the same context, so I know it means something to him. Despite turning it over in my mind again and again, I can't make sense of it. Then days later, we'll be watching a movie or reading a book and he'll repeat the phrase and it suddenly makes sense. One such example was "To infinity and beyond."  Thanks, Buzz Lightyear!

Counterfeit

I've been a mom for over 2 years and sometimes it hits me all over again. I'm a mom?  Of two?  I have a toddler?  When did that happen?

Somedays I feel like I'm playing house. I'm not worthy. My parenting theories are shaky at best.  I feel like a counterfeit, passing myself off as the real deal while questioning myself inside.  The real irony is that my little people look up to me with complete trust in their eyes, always believing that I have the answers.  Ha! If only they knew! 

I watch other moms out of the corner of my eye like a student cheating on a test. How does she resolve the same challenges?  Can I learn something from the way she handles her kids?  I suspect that other people feel this way too. Does anyone really feel like they have it all figured out or are we all just making it up as we go?

I remember calling my mom from the depths of sleep deprivation, desperately seeking a remedy to Carter's sleepless nights. Her answer surprised me. "I don't know," she said. Here was my mommy role model and she didn't have a magical  solution. How was this possible?  I felt like Dorothy, pulling back the curtain to find that the great and powerful Oz was just an old man. It was both scary and reassuring at the same time. If she doesn't have all of the answers, then it's okay if I don't either.